Conflicts in the family know no time of day. It starts as soon as you wake up, early in the morning. The children dawdle getting dressed, don’t want to have breakfast, refuse to brush their teeth. They only leave at the very last second, rush to school and then immediately on to make it to work on time. In the afternoon things continue seamlessly: the children nag, argue with each other and protest against the homework. After hours, days or even weeks of fighting, your nerves are on edge – and although you really don’t want to scold and scream, you can hardly contain your anger and disappointment. In this article, we will give you four tips that you can try right away the next time you have a fight. Step by step you can make your family life more harmonious again in this way.
How Do Conflicts Arise In The Family?
Conflicts in the family are as varied as families themselves. There is the toddler throwing himself angrily on the floor and banging his fists on the floor. On the other hand, the teenager who cuts his cord, withdraws, doesn’t let anyone near him and drives his parents crazy with his monosyllables. There are arguments between siblings and allegations between parents – and so many other situations. Some disputes boil up only once, but violently, others come up again and again over a longer period of time. They are all a burden.
Take A Few Deep Breaths
Remind yourself that your child is not against you. Phases of defiance tantrums or sudden despair over seemingly small things are part of your child’s development and have nothing to do with you as a person or parent.
Focus On Your Child’s Needs
Ask yourself why it behaves this way. Older children can often answer this question themselves. Smaller children in the defiant phase are not yet able to express themselves very well and may yell and hit them, for example, because they are frustrated or overwhelmed. Try to empathize with your child.
Show Genuine Interest In Your Child
Have a face-to-face conversation and ask questions. It is often helpful to reflect on the child’s feelings. For example, say, “You seem angry.” or: “Oh wow, you look sad.” Avoid judging your child’s behavior. This way you show the child that you see him or her and that you take their concerns seriously. Your child gets the opportunity to process their emotions, organize their thoughts and express themselves about the situation. In this phase, it is important to relate, to listen carefully and to ask questions.
It Is In Your Hands
Conflicts in the family are completely normal. Everyday living together inevitably brings with it quarrels. However, it is always the responsibility of adults to shape these disputes in a constructive and appreciative manner. You set the framework for the relationship with your child and determine its quality. It’s not about your child being allowed to do everything and you never being allowed to say no. This includes rules and boundaries. The question is rather: How do you react to the conflicts in the family?